Wednesday, December 19, 2007

No News Does NOT Feel Like Good News

I can't believe that we could actually go to the new year without a referral. Although perhaps I indicated I would be fine with that in my last post, I am not! I am not stressing or freaking or angry, but I am definitely at the point where I feel like this is actually NEVER going to happen. Like a dream vacation that you long for and talk about, purchase posters of and save a picture of the destination as your lap top wall paper...but all the while you secretly know you will never go will always just be the hypotheitcal "dream vacation". Well that is how I am feeling. I do hope that in a few months I will be one of the many parents who excitedly proclaim "I don't even remember what life was like without our baby in our lives". Perhaps...
Maybe it's like the surreal feeling I have regarding my high school friends who have children...Seriously??! When did that happen?!? I've met them, I've loved them, I've even had them fall asleep on my chest, but it still sometimes takes me by surprise.
So even though the nursery is is about 95% complete, I still feel like it will never be occupied. I remember last year at Christmas "knowing" that would be our last Christmas without children...yet here I am, once again with no children. I am not depressed by this, it just perpetuates the feeling that this will never truly happen!
Sorry this wasn't a more uplifitng post!

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